Thursday, August 18, 2016

when you have to say goodbye

I can remember this photo like it was just last week. Two little brothers.. they came to us threw Cocker Spaniel rescue. I got a call saying that a little puppy was being turned in, and because it was November and so close to the holidays, rescue wanted to make sure "he" was settled and they would do "his" adoption a little later in the year. I said I would be happy to have a pup for the holidays and made arrangements to meet up with the owners. I, of course, wondered why would anyone be giving a puppy up and just had to wait to see what the story was. As it turned out, a young couple had gone to a "breeder" to get a pup.. the wife liked one pup, the husband another, and so they decided to simply get both of them. In addition to two little puppies, they also had small children and it didn't take too long for them to be overwhelmed with it all. Calling the breeder to see if they could return the puppies, they were told "no I don't take them back"... and so, they called rescue.  Some how in the communication of things, the words "two puppies" did not come threw, and it was only when I met them... that I saw we were dealing with two puppies and not one. Still that didn't trouble me, and I took them both... arriving home with one in each arm and saying to Ed... "look honey, we have twins". 

They had already been named, Hunter and Trevor and since they weren't staying, we just went with their names. We had them all threw Christmas and the New Year, and about the time rescue called to see about their adoptions, we were in love... these boys were going no where...

Hunter (I assumed) was the older, and we called Trev the little brother. They were wonderful to have, most of the time. We did go threw a bad time when they were trying to decide who would be the top dog... fights were common and I had days were I wondered if we had made a mistake keeping both. All my "dog trainer" experience told me that it isn't wise to raise litter mates, but we plugged threw..... 

Time has a way of sneaking by on you, and soon, they weren't the puppies anymore... they were the big guys, looking at age five... age 10.... 12..... and this year officially turning 15 on September 6th. For the most part, both were healthy..Trev had an eye removed a year or so back... Hunter had a number of the old dog bumps.... they couldn't go so long without having to go outside to potty.. but over all, it was going well....


I got up this morning and everything went the same. I noticed that Hunter seemed a little off.. but we had have some horribly hot weather, and so, I wasn't overly concerned. He ate breakfast, but slowly and just seemed punky. I checked on him all day, and he was very sleepy. Again, not so unusual for him.  Around supper time I let everyone out for potty break and Hunter was moving very slow. I began to think that maybe a trip to the vet would be in order. When it was time for everyone to come in, I found Hunter laying by the door, and then he wouldn't climb up the stairs into the house. I carried him up and I could feel that he seemed short of breath and his heart was pounding. Once he was back inside, he found a crate and crawled in it.... major red flag that something was certainly going on with this boy. 

Ed came home from work, and I said I was calling the vet in the morning. Hunter did come out of the crate and laid about the house, panting and very uncomfortable.. I was wishing I could take him to the vet right then. 

Ed had an meeting to attend at the fire station and got home kind of late. So between that and watching over Hunter, I was up. I put all the doggies out again and decided that I would just take Hunter out the front yard. He wouldn't walk out, so I carried him. put him down on the grass and he laid down. I knew then, we were in trouble, and something was really not right. I carried him back inside and Ed said, "we're heading to the ER right".. I said.. "yup, lets get moving. The ride down is about an hour... Hunter laid in my lap, and I could tell... he wasn't going to be coming home... we were saying our goodbyes as we cuddled together on this ride.  We got to the ER around 12:30 pm... the nice little tech asked me what was going on, and though I can hardly believe I said these words... "my little dog is dying". She quickly took him and got a vet onto him right away. 


The vet came out a few moments later, her impression was Hunter's liver had gone into failure and he was indeed, shutting down and beginning to let go. She offered to "keep him comfortable if I wanted to bring him home", but it was not her recommendation. And actually she didn't think he could really hold out much longer.  The decision was made..... Hunter was leaving and heading to his heavenly home.  As with all my dogs, the last place he was here on earth.. was in my lap, and I hugged him and cried ......he went peacefully.......


I will never never get "used" to letting a dog go"... I've  done it plenty of times and it's never going to be easier. I heard a saying once that said... "Loving a dog will give you many many days of joy and one really bad day".... today was our "bad day"...... 

When I think of him... the first words that come to mind is "sweet".... he was the most gentle soul I know.. he liked everyone and everything.. he was easy going, happy and loved just "being"....other that those days when he fought with his brother (and really it was more Trev's fault).. he never had a cross word with anyone. He loved going for walks, rides in the car.. hanging out at camp.. and most of all, sharing an apple with Ed every night.....

I truly adored him and just thought that he would be here for a very long... which I guess is true, but I never thought of the day that he would go......

I worry about Trev... they were together all the time... they would cuddle up and just be... and now... he's gone...

So, Hunter baby... you were a darling, you will be greatly missed by us all... we love you.... and sadly, even at your (almost) 15 years.. you just weren't here long enough.  I promise to watch over Trev for you.. and thank you for being a part of my life.....sweet sweet boy..........