This is going to be the hardest story to write..my Dad, my hero, my "everything" in many ways...went home to be with God at 10:30 last evening. My heart aches more than I ever thought it could, and even though I know that he had gone onto heaven and his pain here on earth has ended.. I am not ready for this goodbye.
It was a check in day at neads yesterday..I sort of felt like I shouldn't go, but when I checked in with Dad and Mom, things were about the same. So, I decided I could go for a quick check in..telling the girls that I could be called home. Dad had encouraged us to continue with life and not put things on hold because of him..so I tried to do just that.
We had been there a few hours, and Mom called saying Dad had been taken back to the hospital..I had a feeling I needed to get home, so we left.
I had the girls drop me at the hospital, and take my jeep home. I knew the family would be coming..Mom had just left to get so e things at home, so when I arrived, I was the only one there. Dad seemed so happy to see me, and even though he was in and out of sleep..we had a nice one on one visit. I knew that he would not be returning home, and I took this time to cherish what ever time he had still here on earth.
He was ready to go...I could see it..there was just something different that I can't explain. He was peaceful, and the time all of us had leading up to this was a real blessing. As the afternoon went on, the family returned...Mom first, then Becky and Rachel...our hubbies, and in the evening..all the grands, and even the great grands. He knew we were all there and talked and slept...and talked some more. As the evening went on..he began to smoke and suddenly say " hello" in a voice tone that one would use when they haven't seen someone in a long time. Then it seemed like he'd come back around to us....and then drift off again.
A bit later, he began to say...I've got to go. At first we thought he might mean to use the bathroom...but now that I look and think back on all this ..I feel he was telling us that he needed to leave for heaven.
The nurses felt that we should head home, and let everyone rest. We all said goodbye, and that we would be back in the morning...but I knew that wasn't going to be. I knew he was waiting and wanting us to go...so that he could as well. And sure enough..as nearly were back on the farm and the call came.
I love these old photos of Dad in the clock shop...he loved the clocks, and along with being a wonderful husband, an amazing Dad, the fire department..his dogs...and his clocks...this is my Dad....
The days ahead are going to be very different..though he had much planned, there is still much to do. We will pull together..we will muddle threw...we will be there for each other, just as we promised.
And the day will come when we will be together again in house of our Lord. Dad has been reunited with loved ones that have gone on ahead and though I already miss him, he's always going to be close by...
If there's any doubt, winter is truly here and the shows we are getting are true New England style. But the thing I'm not so impressed with is the ice. Just look at the coating on the trees. I will certainly be wearing my "grippies" on my boots, and if walking to the barn gets too bad..I'll move the gator to the house and drive up.
Were slowly introducing the boys to each other. I'm probably doing this way slower than some would but since they're ours..I can do this any way I choose.
I think they like each other. Tonka has been so sad without duke and Abraham left a team mate..so I feel like they need each other and want to be together.
They sometimes race about and get silly but mostly I find them just standing together.
They have good thick costs and like to be outside...
Things seem to be settling down here on the farm.
